It is considered good luck to eat dumplings during the lunar new year because they are shaped like ancient ingots of gold and it is believed to bring you wealth in the upcoming year. My mom took it to another level this year by coloring her dumpling dough with natural dyes, leaving us with vibrantly colored dumplings.
During new year celebrations as a child, I always envied my family friends because their parents let them play with all the other kids, while my mom kept me in the kitchen washing vegetables and wrapping dumplings. Looking back though, I'm so grateful she passed these traditions on to me. It took my a long time to accept my identity, and I often tried to repress any cultural identifiers. From my hair color to speaking a different language at home, I wanted nothing more than to look, talk, and act like my white classmates.
I still don't know when the transition began, but it definitely has to do with maturation and "cultural differences" finally being recognized as cool. For the longest time I struggled balancing my Asian heritage and upbringing with my American life. It felt like I could not exist in either sphere comfortably.
This memory is so clear in my mind even to this day. In second grade, my mom would get up early in the morning to pack my lunch. She would warm up the thermos, heat all the leftover food, pack them each into their own little container, stack them, and send me off to school with hot lunches every single day. I had soup, rice, vegetables, fruit - all the works. One day, the lunch aide came up to me and in front of all my classmates asked me to pack up my lunch and follow her to another table. At the time, I thought maybe I had done something to deserve detention or something. I could have never imagined what she said next.
From left to right natural food dyes: purple yam, original, spinach, carrots, beets, original, spinach
She told me my classmates said my food "smelled bad" and if I continued to bring food like that, I would be required to sit at my own lunch table away from all my "friends". I went home that day and told my mom I only wanted peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch from now on, and when she asked why I was embarrassed to tell her the real reason. Thinking I was sparing her feelings, I just told her it's too much work to unpack everything and I didn't have enough time to finish it all before recess.
I wish I had the understanding I have today to realize what that lunch aide said to me was so out of line. I wish I knew the comments about my food came from a place of ignorance, and there was nothing inherently wrong with my food, my appearance or being different.
Being a child of immigrants, it was difficult to gauge whether I was being treated fairly or not because I was too busy trying to assimilate into American culture. I took every insult, believing they were justified and it really was all my fault.
Pro tip when cooking dumplings, whether homemade or store bought. After the dumplings are brought to a boil, take a cup of cold water and pour it over. Once the pot boils again, the dumplings are perfectly cooked. Oh, and never cover the pot when boiling!
It is really tough to grow up in an environment where it really feels like you are the oddball in every situation. I resented all the things that made me stand out: my hair color, my eye color, my accent when speaking english, even my parents who did not speak the most proper english. I am completely indebted to my incredible parents however, who continuously reminded me to remember my roots and be proud of where I come from. They taught me that ultimately, I could not expect anyone to respect me or my culture if I didn't even respect yourself. It took my so many years to finally understand the meaning of respecting and embracing my differences, and to finally be proud to be Asian American.
The sauce is super simple - minced/grated fresh ginger, soy sauce, vinegar, sugar, sesame oil, and the secret weapon: thai basil.
If you are interested in our family dumpling recipe let me know! I will make a separate post about how to make these ingots of deliciousness another day.
Thanks for reading!!
dee ღ
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